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Ukulele Club Revision: Adding Linking Phrases

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Ukulele Club Revision: Adding Linking Phrases

Compare a first draft and a revised draft to see how linking phrases connect ideas.

Read both drafts

Read Rosa's first draft. Then read her revised draft and look for the linking words and phrases she added.

Rosa wrote a short opinion piece asking her school to start a ukulele club. Her first draft had no linking words. When she revised it, she added linking words and phrases to connect her ideas.

Rosa's First Draft

Our school should start a ukulele club. A ukulele is a small instrument that usually has four strings. It is easy for kids to hold and carry. Kids can learn to play it quickly. Some easy songs need only two or three chords. A club would bring students together. Students from different grades could meet after school. The older students could help the younger ones. The club could play at assemblies. Everyone would see what the members have learned. We would need more ukuleles. The music room has only six. Everyone should get a chance to make music.

Rosa's Revised Draft

1Our school should start a ukulele club. A ukulele is a small instrument that usually has four strings, so it is easy for kids to hold and carry. Many students at our school have told me that they want to learn to play music. I have three reasons why a ukulele club would be a great way to start.

2First, kids can learn to play the ukulele quickly. For instance, some easy songs need only two or three chords. A beginner who practices a little each day could play a whole song after just a few lessons.

3In addition, a club would bring students together. Students from different grades could meet in the music room after school on Thursdays. The older students could help the younger ones learn new chords, and everyone could make new friends.

4The club could also share music with the whole school. Members could play songs at assemblies in order to show everyone what they have learned. Hearing the club might make other students want to join, too.

5In order to start the club, we would need more ukuleles. The music room has only six, but we could hold a used-book sale to raise money for more. For these reasons, our school should start a ukulele club. Everyone should get a chance to make music!

Compare the drafts

Use both of Rosa's drafts to answer each question.

1.
In her first draft, Rosa wrote, "Some easy songs need only two or three chords." How did she link this sentence to her reason in the revised draft?
Question 1 options
2.
Each word or phrase below appears in Rosa's revised draft. Circle the four linking phrases that she added when she revised.

3.
Read paragraph 5 of the revised draft. Why does Rosa begin it with "In order to start the club"?
Question 3 options
4.
Match each sentence from Rosa's first draft to the linking word or phrase she put in front of it in her revised draft. One linking phrase will not be used.

Link it yourself

Help Rosa write more about her club. Choose or write the best linking words and phrases.

5.
Rosa wants to add a sentence right after this one: "The older students could help the younger ones learn new chords." Which sentence gives an example and uses a linking phrase correctly?
Question 5 options
6.
Which phrase best completes this sentence?
Club members should tune their ukuleles before they play ______ make each song sound right.
Question 6 options
7.
Rosa made a poster for the club. Use the word bank to complete it. Write one phrase in each blank.

Here are two reasons to join the ukulele club. First, you will learn songs that you can play for your family. , one member learned a song to play at her grandmother's birthday party. , you will make friends from other grades. Come to the music room on Thursday sign up.

8.
Plan your own opinion: Think of a club your school should start. Write your opinion and your first reason. Then write a sentence that begins with "For instance" and gives an example.
9.
Revise like Rosa: This short draft has no linking words. Rewrite it and add at least two linking words or phrases, such as first, for instance, in addition or in order to.
"Our town should build a dog park. Dogs need room to run. Some dogs live in homes with small yards. A dog park would help owners meet. They could share tips about training."